You know that exhilarating feeling you get when you find out something really exciting? Something that truly rocks your world and promises to take you on an entirely new path, and yet you have to keep it a secret from everyone around you, including within the walls of your own home? Something that occupies such a large part of your mind all. the. time. that it is hard to focus on anything else, but you absolutely cannot, will not, should not, let it slip? That is exactly how it has been the past few months not telling our friends, family, and you guys that 2 months ago we received truly incredible, amazing (and any other synonym for these words) news: we are expecting!!!
I will forever remember the moment when my husband interrupted my morning shower to tell me, “I think there might be two lines…,” referring to the test I had left on the bathroom counter. The grins on both of our faces were indescribable (I imagine mine was somewhere between ecstatic and about to burst with giddiness). And the strangest thing was, we knew before we knew, if that makes any sense at all. Call us crazy (you won’t be the first), but we didn’t need some silly test to tell us that this dream was becoming a reality, because, we just knew. The test was merely a validation, but it made us jump for joy just the same.
This past Friday marked our three-month point in this journey, and I have enjoyed every bump and bruise (I actually had one for 2 1/2 weeks following my first appointment blood draw, no joke) and nap along the way. I have been incredibly lucky with this pregnancy so far, and considering I have personally experienced none others to compare it to, feel pretty good about that. Morning sickness only lasted a few weeks, and did not ever include actually getting sick, although I did have some pretty rough days at my desk. The most constant symptom has most definitely been the fatigue, which I am still dealing with. I could honestly take a nap wherever I am at any given time throughout the day (car, couch, husband’s shoulder, you name it), and I am lucky if I don’t fall asleep while watching a tv show with the husband before 8pm. I sometimes feel like a dead girl walking, but seem to have everyone fooled.
My husband has been a saint, making me endless grilled cheeses and being my hydration-police. He gets excited about whatever fruit I am growing in my tummy each week, as I refer to myself as our own personal farmer’s market, and helps me take a picture each month of our progress. Don’t tell him I told you this, but he even helped me pick out my very first maternity clothes with a smile on his face (stretchy pants for work…I cannot wait til I can wear these, and belly bands so I can stop using a rubber band on my jeans). He makes sure I take my vitamins and gives me foot rubs…even though I’m pretty sure I’m not even close to the stage where I will actually “need” these (again, ssshh).
Now that our big news is out, the sense of relief is immense, and the sense of constant excitement is, well, constant. I am in awe of how fast these first three months have gone, how much support we have received, and how much love we are surrounded by. I know that this pregnancy chapter in our lives will all be over before we know it. I also know that I will genuinely relish each step along the way as this is such a miracle and blessing to both of us, to ALL of us (I wish I had the kids’ reactions on camera as well, it was priceless, as is their excitement everyday). And I can’t wait to share it all here with you!